A Good Idea at the Time

A lot of people seem to think it’s cool to tell me I don’t match. I mean, it's kinda close, right?

So for everyone distressed by my lack of color coordination, check it…

No more will you have to tell me that I can probably find some black shorts on chainlove.com or that the “light turquoise on the shorts doesn’t go with the cornflower blue on the jersey.” I mean, seriously, turquoise? Ladies, it’s clearly cerulean with a hint of malibu. Com’n…

But now that you can’t comment on that, you’ve got to fill that dead space in the conversation with something… I suggest: “Oh my god, Dave, ________”

You’re so fast.
Where did my inhibitions go?
Can I make you a sandwich?
Those big wheels are so manly.
Your arms are so huge.
Can I buy you a beer?

As always, ladies choice…